A Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is a private meeting with a family mediator to discuss your situation, understand alternatives to court and assess whether mediation could help. It usually lasts around 45 minutes to an hour. In England and Wales, you generally need to attend one before making certain court applications about children or finances, unless an exemption applies.

If you have recently separated, another appointment may feel like the last thing you need. Knowing what the meeting is for helps. You are not going there to argue your case, agree a settlement or sit opposite your former partner. You are going to find out what might work next.

What is a MIAM, and how is it different from mediation?

MIAM stands for Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. It is a first conversation with an authorised family mediator, meaning one accredited by the Family Mediation Council to carry out MIAMs. It is not the start of negotiations with your former partner.

The mediator explains how mediation works, explores the issues you need to resolve, and considers whether mediation is safe and suitable. They should also discuss other ways of resolving disagreements outside court, such as negotiations through solicitors.

Mediation itself comes later, if it is appropriate and both of you want to take part. The mediator helps you explore possible agreements. They do not decide the outcome or take sides.

Do I have to attend a MIAM before going to court?

If you are applying to the Family Court to resolve certain disputes about children or finances, you will usually need to attend a MIAM first. This commonly includes applications about where children live or spend time, particular decisions about their upbringing, and financial orders following divorce or the dissolution of a civil partnership.

The requirement does not apply to every family application. There are also exemptions, including certain cases involving domestic abuse, urgent risks of harm or child abduction, and bankruptcy in financial proceedings. Attending a MIAM, or taking part in another qualifying non-court process, within the previous four months may also provide an exemption, subject to the relevant conditions.

These exemptions are not simply boxes to tick. Evidence may be needed, and the court can examine whether an exemption has been properly claimed. Your former partner saying they will not mediate does not, on its own, remove your obligation to attend. A solicitor can check the position for your particular application.

If someone’s safety is at risk, get urgent advice rather than assuming you must wait for a MIAM.

What happens during a MIAM?

You will normally meet the mediator on your own, either in person or online. Your former partner usually has a separate appointment. Allow around 45 minutes to an hour, and check the arrangements when you book.

The meeting is a conversation, not a hearing. You might explain that school-week arrangements keep changing, or that you cannot agree on what should happen to the family home. You do not need to present a polished account of the relationship.

The mediator will ask about the issues, your concerns and how you and your former partner communicate. They will also speak with you privately about safety, including any domestic abuse, controlling behaviour or concerns about children’s welfare. Tell them about anything that affects your ability to speak freely, even if you are unsure whether it is relevant.

They will explain what mediation could involve, the likely costs and timescales, and the alternatives. Some services offer ‘shuttle mediation’, where you stay in separate rooms or online spaces and the mediator speaks to each of you in turn. Shuttle mediation is not suitable for everyone, and it does not remove the need for a careful safety assessment.

Does attending mean I have to agree to mediation?

Attending a MIAM does not commit you to mediation or to accepting a proposal. Mediation needs both people to take part willingly, and each person must be able to negotiate safely.

It helps to separate two questions: whether you must attend an information meeting, and whether mediation is the right way to resolve your dispute. The first is often a legal requirement. The second depends on an assessment of your circumstances.

However, courts expect people to consider suitable alternatives to going to court, and that expectation continues after proceedings begin. The court can pause proceedings to encourage this. In financial cases, refusing to engage without good reason can affect who pays the legal costs. A MIAM should help you make an informed choice, not simply get a signature for a court form.

Is a MIAM confidential?

A MIAM is generally confidential, but there are limits. The mediator should explain those limits before you discuss your situation. For example, safeguarding concerns or a legal duty may require them to share information.

It would be misleading to promise that nothing you say could ever be disclosed, or that a mediator could never have to provide information to a court. If a particular concern is holding you back from speaking openly, ask how confidentiality applies before going into detail.

Confirming that you attended, for the purposes of a court application, is different from sharing what you discussed in private.

How much does a MIAM cost?

Mediators set their own fees, so ask about the price when booking, including whether completing any court paperwork costs extra. Legal aid may cover the MIAM if you qualify. Check with a mediation provider that offers legal aid. If your former partner qualifies for legal aid, your MIAM and first joint mediation session may also be covered.

Funding for later mediation is a separate question. The government’s family mediation voucher scheme can contribute up to £500 towards eligible mediation involving children, subject to availability. It does not pay for the MIAM itself and is not available for a dispute that is only about finances. The scheme’s availability and terms can change, so check the current position on GOV.UK.

How should I prepare, and do I need a solicitor?

You do not need a solicitor to attend with you. However, independent legal advice before or after the meeting can help you understand your options. The mediator stays impartial and does not advise either of you on what is best for your individual legal position.

A few notes can be more useful than a large bundle of paperwork. Think about the questions you need to resolve, what is already working and any immediate concerns. For example, are you discussing all of the child arrangements, or just holiday dates and handovers?

Check whether the mediator needs identification or documents to assess whether you qualify for legal aid. You will not usually need to give full financial disclosure at this stage. However, you are likely to need detailed information about income, property, pensions and debts if financial mediation goes ahead.

For an online appointment, choose a place where you can speak privately and will not be overheard. Tell the service in advance if that is difficult, or if you need an interpreter or other adjustments.

What happens after the MIAM?

If mediation is suitable and you both agree to try it, the service can arrange further sessions once both individual assessments are complete. No one expects a complicated financial settlement or a parenting plan to be agreed in the first meeting.

If mediation is unsuitable, if either of you does not wish to go ahead, or if your former partner will not engage, the mediator can complete the relevant confirmation for a court application. Ask about timing, because a MIAM is only valid for a court application made within four months of the meeting.

You may instead decide to take another route, such as negotiations through solicitors. Attending a MIAM does not mean court proceedings must follow.

A good outcome is not always an agreement to mediate. Sometimes it is understanding why a particular process would not work, what support you need and which step is realistic now. You do not have to arrive knowing all the answers.

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