Separating a less painful way

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Separating from your partner is rarely a pain free experience.

There is the emotional angst, and if you have lived together, more than likely there will be other things to resolve, for instance, who should have what from the home, and if you own your home how the proceeds might be shared between you. If you have children together, there will be their needs to sort out too, when they are going to spend time with you both? Where will be the primary home? How are you going to parent them together now you are apart? Along with all this is the prospect of huge change in your life and the uncertainty of the future. All of these things can cause untold worry in the short term.

Invariably, people want the best outcome for their children as well as themselves, and if truth be known most people would prefer to arrive at this point without acrimony, and as soon as practicable so everyone can move on with their lives. Despite this, many people reject the option of negotiating a solution via mediation – some are worried about meeting their ex, some are worried how there might be any meaningful discussion after the upset of the breakup. However, working together with a trained Family Mediator can help you resolve the issues in a way that lets you both work towards an outcome that is best for your children and you. Importantly, it lets you both remain in control of that outcome, as both parties keep negotiating, until an agreeable compromise is reached.

Mediation is entirely voluntary, so you can be confident from the outset that you are both having the discussions because you want to! What is said between you within the process is confidential, so you can throw ideas around between you until you arrive at a possible solution that may work for you. At that point the mediator will invite you discuss this with your lawyers before either of you formally commit to any arrangements. Of course it can be an intimidating and daunting prospect to be sitting with your ex again, but the mediator is there to help you both achieve this and facilitate the conversations you may need to have.

Almost without exception mediation is a more cost effective option, whilst the mediator will charge for their time the costs of the process are shared between you, and will be far cheaper than arguing matters out in Court, when a Judge will make a decision for you, but may not be solution either of you would have chosen for yourselves. Another factor to bear in mind is that while mediation meetings will be arranged to fit in with your commitments, over a period of weeks, the discussions tend to move forward far quicker that the same conversation might do were lawyers writing to each other for you.


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